As I was listening to a radio show last night, the rowdy DJs made a bogus report about a senator saying that masturbation is a form of abortion, it was a bad news, but what made it worse was.. it turned out to be true.
Senator Juan Ponce Enrile: “And the question that bothers me is… Is the sperm alive? Is the ovum of the woman alive? I have consulted doctors and the answer is yes.
The sperm of a man cannot fertilize any egg, not the egg of a whale, or a lizard, or a bird, or a fish, but only the egg of a woman. And neither can the egg of a woman be fertilized by any other sperm except the sperm of a man, so that these two elements must be together to create life. But each one of them has life. There is no question about that because they have mobility: They move; they develop.”
“These are your cojones, this is where babies come from.”
It is when the co-author of the RH-Bill Senator Pia Cayetano proposed a hypothetical scenario: “So, if a man and a woman are sleeping together as husband and wife and a man avails of the withdrawal method and ejaculates outside the vagina of a woman, that is ‘interference’ in the same way a condom would be, because the man and the woman decided not to allow the egg and the sperm to meet, is that his Honor’s position?”
Sen. Cayetano thinks what cojones are
To which the honorable Senator Enrile replied: “Well, if the man wants to satisfy himself by manipulating himself alone, if it is only for pleasure, then it interferes with the production of life. That is my belief. That is a matter of faith to me.”
In the near future, the government will supply hundreds of surveillance trucks that will be online 24/7 to detect anyone who will try to “manipulate himself for pleasure”, to those who’ll be apprehended, they will be imprisoned from 5 days to a year, depending on how long or how pleasurable the experience was.
“I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE.” Yes, the government will be planting nanny cams in our rooms to see those who are ‘manipulating themselves’
Oh look! Morning news came in:
“16 Year-Old boy condemned for one thousand life sentences for ‘murdering’ a spoonful of sperms”